feeling forgotten.

I feel like this summer I am losing everything I gained at Wayne. I know I'm not, because that's not the kind of thing the wonderful friends I have would do, but I don't know.
I can't stand it. and it is the worst feeling in the entire world.
I'm the kind of person who doesn't go out of my way to tell people what is wrong with me.
I need people to ask ME if I'm okay.
Because I worry about bothering people, making people mad, being a nuisance, frustrating people, messing things up, losing friends, losing my mind, being stupid, saying dumb stuff. the list goes on and on.
and when the people I expect to care the most....don't. it is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I am being forgotten.
I don't know how to handle situations anymore.
I worry too much. This is something that nearly everyone I know has knowledge of. But I'm the kind of person who needs to be reminded of what is special about me. I don't know why...and I hate that about myself.
I hate being alone. Which I think is the main reason I miss Wayne so much. I'm used to being surrounded by the fantastic friends I have. And at home...I don't have that. I have Jill, whom I love and who is the best friend I could ever ask for...but I miss everyone else more than they could probably imagine.
I just want to go back to Wayne and have everything be...fabulous again. like it used to be.
I have the best friends on the planet, and I know I take them for granted every day of my life. I love them more than almost anything. I just really need them.
So, to Jeff, Fowler, Scott, Aaron, Caleb, Bailey, Jill and whoever else may read this. I love you guys. :) only 43 days until we all get to be together again! Thank you for being amazing.